Adages that make ZERO sense

“Be still, O my heart!” Seriously? if your heart is still, you’ll die.

“Don’t amount to a hill of beans.” Honestly, I’m thinking a hill of beans would be a major mess to clean up. Where would even put it? Are they still fit for consumption?

“By the skin of your teeth…” ….?

“…in a pickle…” I’m pretty sure that’s physically impossible.

“…under the weather…” the weather, truthfully, has very little affect on ones’ health. Unless you live in a Victorian novel. #Pride&Prejudice #WutheringHeights #Sense&Sensibility

“…a little bird told me…” what are you, the bird whisperer? Do birds even listen? They don’t seem to. Gosh, birds never shut up!

“…what’s that have to do with the price of rice in China?” Sorry. Why would I know that? I have no Asian heritage. Do I wish I did? yes, but that’s a different story for a different day.

“Hotter’n blue blazes!” What are blue blazes? Please, explain.

“You scared the bejesus out of me!” umm….ok.

“the Bee’s knees!” Do bees even have knees? Abounding conundrums.

“Suck it up!” I don’t even want to know.

“Cry me a river, build a bridge and get over it!” That sounds a little excessive.

“…ball faced lyin’…” mayhap southern pronunciation distorts the actual words, but I can’t think what it might be possibly be.

“…put a bug in her ear…” gross. If you put a bug in my ear, I would hit you. That’s just the truth.

Just sayin’.

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He’s a freaking groundhog!

We have gathered today to bring before you the most shocking trial in American history.

 

There is a group of people- people like you and I, with beating patriotic hearts, who, being so grieved with a single fallacy from beloved Puxsatawny Phil are calling for a death sentence!

He’s a freaking groundhog! Nearly a century of fully accurate foretelling of the weather, and one single mistake causes a substantial amount of the population to lose faith. We find this entirely unjustifiable. Human meteorologists (who we find ill-named, as they so rarely deal with meteors) make fallible forecasts all the freaking time and no one tries to murder them.

 

Please sign our protest to end the violence. Puxsatawney deserves to live.

 

The fall of the American Music Industry

hipster

The following selections, (in bold) have made a notable appearance on Billboard in the past few years. The extremely popular songs enjoyed by the general populace.

The examples that follow them are from the Indie, alternative, and folk genre. You know who listens to this: the “weirdos”. The socially awkward bookworms who troll Etsy for the perfect pair of vintage tortoiseshell frames for their glasses. The “hippies” or “hipsters”. The ones that take their type-writers to the park, and would rather watch the BBC than keep up the Kardashians.

You may judge, indeed, who has the superior soundtrack.

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Baby, baby, baby, oh
Like baby, baby, baby, no
Like baby, baby, baby, oh
I thought you’d always be mine, mine…”

Justin Beiber

“Swan dive down, eleven stories high, or swim down deep until you see the light. You can sink to the bottom of the sea, just don’t go without me… C’est la vie, c’est la mort, [This is life, this is death] You and me, Forevermore…”
The Civil Wars

“Have you ever felt like a plastic bag floating on the wind, waiting for life to begin?”

Katy Perry, “Firework”

“What if I was wrong? This land means less and less to me without you breathing through it’s trees.. At every turn the water runs away from me, and the halo disappears…I’m not whole when you’re not near… ” Mumford and Sons

“CALL ME MAYBE!”
Carly Rae Jepsen

“I’ve known mornings white as diamonds, silent from a night so cold. Such a stillness, calm as the owl flies; our lives are buried in snow…I was sifting through the piles, in my hand a tangled thread. Each patient tug upon the snarl is a glimpse of what has been…”
Alela Diane

“I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH!” –Willow smith

“I was desperate, I was weak, I could not put up a fight. Where are you now, where are you now? Do you ever think of me in the quiet or the crowd? Triumphant in the mind of the logic that you hold. You said no one will ever know the love that we have shared; as I took my leave to go it was clear you didn’t care.” -Mumford and Sons

“WE ARE NEVER EVER EVER EVER GETTING BACK TOGETHER” – Taylor Swift

“Meet in the garden, where the weeds grow tall… we’ll set on the swing… Meet me in the tintypes of long ago, trace the lines of my face… You and I, we’re just pressing flowers; they’re dying, but they’re ours…” –
The Civil Wars

“Loving him was red, re-e-e-e-e-ed…fighting with him was like trying to solve a crossword and realizing there was no right answer…” Taylor swift

“It’s under control but the Sun and Moon have been after each other from night until noon, chasing like a couple of fools, in a race of the clouds like a bloody cartoon… colorful creatures in wonderless moods have been tirelessly learning their lines and their runes, turning about in their colorful shoes, surprising themselves with their wonderful moves… I know I’m gonna get there someday soon..” -Ben Taylor

“Baby you light up my world like nobody else
The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed
But when you smile at the ground it ain’t hard to tell
You don’t know (oh oh)
You don’t know you’re beautiful!” – One Direction

“I am thinking it’s a sign that the freckles in our eyes are mirror images and when we kiss they’re perfectly aligned… And I have to speculate that God himself did make us into corresponding shapes like puzzle pieces from the clay… and true, it may seem like a stretch, but it’s thoughts like these that catch my troubled head when you’re away and I am missing you to death…” – Iron and Wine

“Who run the world? GIRLS

Who run the world? GIRLS

Who run the world? GIRLS”

Beyonce

“If I get murdered in the City, don’t go revenging in my name. One person dead from such is plenty, no need to go get locked away. Make sure my mother knows I loved her, make sure my sister knows the same. Always remember there was nothing worth sharing like the love that let us share our name.” –
The Avett Brothers

Beautiful art requires intelligence. Help us make intelligence fashionable again: Support the “hipster” movement.

HIPSTER AND PROUD.