Why we love Helena Bonham Carter (and you should too)

– She is as much like Johnny Depp as a woman could possibly be.

– She has puffy hair that is reminiscent of Edward Scissorhands or her hair is something out of the 18th century.

– She is the same height as MadaLin.

– She is married to Tim Burton.

–  She starred in an adaptation of Alice in Wonderland (her character rocked a giant head in a very amusing way).

– She is the only one in the world who could make the prospect of “corpse bride” look attractive.

– She is totally steampunk in manner of dress. And it TOTALLY works.

– She sounds SO POSH.

-She is British.

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10 most awkward things known to man

1. Twilight

2. Henry the VIII

3. Mt. Vesuvius

4. Your average British dude (No offense. Love British Dudes as we most certainly do…)

5. Zombies

6. List Posts on blogs

7. People who discuss overtly personal issues while in public

8. ELEVATOR RIDES WITH STRANGERS

9. Overly quiet public bathrooms

10. The fact that my Target places men and women’s undergarments RIGHT ACROSS THE AISLE FROM EACH OTHER

 

The most tragic stories EVER

These are the books that (while sometimes having significant literary value) threaten to bring one to tears.

*tears* *tears* *tears*

East of Eden, by John Steinbeck

Tigerlily, by Jodi Lynn Andersen

1984 by George Orwell

Wuthering Heights, by Emily Bronte (it could be contested that this is not so much a tragedy, as story concerning the second generation ended on a pleasant note. However, it is traditionally regarded as a tragedy.)

Romeo and Juliet, by Shakespeare (did we even need to list this?)

Hamlet, by Shakespeare

The Forsyte Saga by John Galsworthy

anything written by Edgar Allen Poe

If you saw one of your favorites on the list, YOU’RE A FREAK.

P.S. We are freaks too, it’s ok. Are you a freak? Did we miss any sad literature?

Review on the “Abram’s Daughter’s series”, by Beverly Lewis

In 2002, Beverly Lewis published the first installment of her excellent “Abram’s Daughters” series. The four books that followed track the lives of an Old Order Amish family in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. The story begins in the year 1942, and resolves in 1969. The Ebersol family has four daughters, all of whom we see mature from their youth. The books average  in at 350 pages. They are steadily paced, and solidly written. Though the author deals with intense family drama, it is handled with exceptional good taste, resulting in a book that can be read with the family. We will refrain from spoiling the story, but we happily report a satisfactory (if unexpected) ending. Five stars.

We also enjoyed Beverly Lewis’ “Annie’s People” series.

A awesomely short review Pride and Prejudice and Zombies by Jane Austen and Seth Grahame-Smith

“It is a truth universally acknowledged that a Zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains.”
Pride and Prejudice was published by romance novelist Jane Austen in the year 1813.

Nearly two centuries later, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies was released by Seth Grahame-Smith.

He has been praised as having taken a dead story and injected life into it once more. Though how he has done so by filling it with undead creatures is a mystery to us.

We here at Barton Hollow are rallying for a film adaptation to be made, starring Benedict Cumberbatch as Mr. Darcy, and Tom Hiddleston as Mr. Bingley. (Whosoever is cast as the Bennet sisters is of no consequence to us, so long as Mr. Cumberbatch and Mr. Hiddleston grace the screen.)

We give it five stars.

Q. (Nicole) Describe to me what it is that Mr. Grahame-Smith has done to this well-beloved classic.

A. (MadaLin) He has infected it with a awesome flavor of 21st century sci-fi! Most notably Zombies. He has written in incidents with Zombies (called, thoughtout the book, Unmentionables, much to our good humour) and has also done the unthinkable in adding to Mr. Darcy’s list qualifacations for the perfect woman.

Q. No! In what way?

Mr. Darcy now thinks less of an accomplished piano-forte player and more of a knife-wielder! Since this “grevious plague” has infected England, former luxuries and marks of high society are now seen as tomfoolery.

Q. But of course, Elizabeth Bennet still passes his test.

Of course. The major pinnacles of the story line are unchanged, but they all bear the aroma of undead.

Q. Do you feel Jane Austen would approve of this re-making?

A. I think a lot of people feel that Jane Austen is rolling over in her grave (hah hah hah), but personally I think she was rather quirky enough to enjoy it.

Q. Do you think her “quirkiness” was well received by pre-victorian society?

A. Perhaps not in her own time, there were many throughout history who disapproved of her works, (I.E. the Bronte Sisters, and surprisingly Winston Churchill) but for every one mark of disdain there is an incalculable multitude who adore them.

Q. Pride and Prejudice is always widely spoken of, but tell me what the plot actually is about.

On the surface, it is about a rather spastic mother of five daughters who (understandably) wishes to see them marry well. However, this desire often overtakes what small sprinkling of common sense she operates under.

Q. Describe each daughter to me.

Jane, the eldest, is extremely sweet and loving.

Elizabeth is slightly sassy-smart.

Mary, quiet, contemplative, and a bit of a know-it-all.

Catherine (Kitty), who is a follower acting mainly under the instruction of

Lydia, the youngest. She is rather self-absorbed.

Q. Tell me about the marriages in the book.

The first to marry is the youngest, Lydia. Against her parent’s wishes, she at sixteen elopes with Mr. George Wickham.

Next, Catherine Deburg attempts to keep Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy apart, owing to Elizabeth’s poverty.

The eldest sister, Jane, marries Mr. Bingley.

Elizabeth marries Mr. Darcy, and they live happily ever after, with both love an money, as do all of Miss Austen’s characters.

Favorite Quotes-

“My sore throats are always worse than anyone’s…” – Lydia

“Any savage can dance!” – Mr. Darcy