Classic lit authors, if they had gone to high school together…

Because we are the kind of people who sit around wondering what this would be like. Because we can.

Victor Hugo: one of those almost-nerdy “I’m running for school president” kids.

Mary Shelley: sophisticated and macabre, listens to Florence and the Machine.

The Bronte sisters: would be those creepy-close family members who turn their pain into art and wear way too much eyeliner.

Lucy Maud Montgomery: was that sweetheart, home-town girl who has a tumblr full of flower and teapot pictures.

Lewis Caroll: He was that (probably carrot-top) kid who is completely obnoxious, but so sweet that everyone wants to be his friend anyway. Too quick-witted for his own good.

Lord Byron: has a reputable political family, but is failing to uphold that upstanding image. You should hear the gossip. Has an unexpected friendship with Mary Shelley, see above.

Edgar Allen Poe: I think it goes without saying that he was that emo creep in the corner of the library. Might be dating his cousin?

Shakespeare: TOTAL hipster man. Overly confident, nearly annoyingly so. Extrovert who can’t possibly stay at home enough to study, but makes amazing grades. Also, that kid with his obnoxious made-up vocabulary.. will NEVER catch on.

Jules Verne: … honestly, I think he’s been an old man his entire life. You are obligated to be endearingly quirky, with a name like Jules.

Jane Austen: brooding, though not melancholy. Amazingly good student, if she likes the subject. Doesn’t really date, but likes to matchmake.

Charles Dickens: Extreme compassion for the underdog. Painfully long-winded not only in conversation, but also reports, essays, etc.

 

Do you think we made the grade? Any contributions we should add?

Advertisements

Paradisical literature

I wouldn’t mind living in the Shire. Good food, sunshine. Curls. Round doors. Flora and fauna on every flat surface.

Speaking of which, Rivendell is a vision as well.

Neverland would be a paradise. Wonderland, though, that would be the win!

How about Alagaesia, while we’re on the subject? Eragon and Sapphira would be great friends.

See what Miss Marple has been finding out?

Looking for some more excitement? Let’s go to the arena for the 73rd annual Hunger Games.

Trudge through the woods in Forks, Washington?

Sail out to Treasure Island?

Nancy Drew and the Hardy boys? Never a dull moment there!

Run the alleys and pick pockets with Oliver Twist?

Ask Scarlett why she kept up chasing Ashley?

Or would you rather follow Dorothy down the yellow brick road?

Conquer your fears with Tris and Four?

Discover the mysteries under the sea aboard the Nautilus?

Walk out with Poirot, and ask the Belgian why he is stroking his mustaches?

Run through the pasture with Black Beauty?

We could take a dusty ride to Maycombe County, and see if Jem has the courage to touch the door at the old Radley place.

Shall we take a turn about the room with Lizzie Bennet, and sneak glances at Mr. Darcy?

Do you trust Phileas Fogg’s hot air balloon?

Ride the range in a Louis L’amour western?

See who is rapping, tapping at Edgar Allen Poe’s chamber door?

Build a raft with Tom and Huckleberry?

See if Sunday’s kiss can get Grumble out of toad form?

Help Winston and Julia evade the Thought Police in 1984?

Have tea at 221b Baker street, and see if you could keep up with the master?

I guess we could accompany Algernon as he abandons obligations visits poor Bonbury, so recently taken ill.

Or should we help Petruchio tame the Shrew in Padua?

Chill with Daisy and Gatsby?

Maybe you’d like to drop eaves while Henry V tries to speak french to ‘fair cousin Catherine’, whom he loves so entirely?

Dig holes with Caveman and the gang, while avoiding Mr. Pendanski?

See if Jo accepts Mr. Baer’s proposal??

Ask Ellen to let us in the back door of Wuthering Heights? We could see where Heathcliff was those three years, how he amassed that fortune… no?

Let’s go to Sherwood Forest, then. Can you use a bow? dagger, something?

Could you hold in your laughter as Benedick gets in a row with Beatrice?

Or should we go through the wardrobe? Narnia is always more magical than the rest… But under whose reign? Caspian the 10th, perhaps…

And they wonder why we love to read.