Classic lit authors, if they had gone to high school together…

Because we are the kind of people who sit around wondering what this would be like. Because we can.

Victor Hugo: one of those almost-nerdy “I’m running for school president” kids.

Mary Shelley: sophisticated and macabre, listens to Florence and the Machine.

The Bronte sisters: would be those creepy-close family members who turn their pain into art and wear way too much eyeliner.

Lucy Maud Montgomery: was that sweetheart, home-town girl who has a tumblr full of flower and teapot pictures.

Lewis Caroll: He was that (probably carrot-top) kid who is completely obnoxious, but so sweet that everyone wants to be his friend anyway. Too quick-witted for his own good.

Lord Byron: has a reputable political family, but is failing to uphold that upstanding image. You should hear the gossip. Has an unexpected friendship with Mary Shelley, see above.

Edgar Allen Poe: I think it goes without saying that he was that emo creep in the corner of the library. Might be dating his cousin?

Shakespeare: TOTAL hipster man. Overly confident, nearly annoyingly so. Extrovert who can’t possibly stay at home enough to study, but makes amazing grades. Also, that kid with his obnoxious made-up vocabulary.. will NEVER catch on.

Jules Verne: … honestly, I think he’s been an old man his entire life. You are obligated to be endearingly quirky, with a name like Jules.

Jane Austen: brooding, though not melancholy. Amazingly good student, if she likes the subject. Doesn’t really date, but likes to matchmake.

Charles Dickens: Extreme compassion for the underdog. Painfully long-winded not only in conversation, but also reports, essays, etc.

 

Do you think we made the grade? Any contributions we should add?

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Paradisical literature

I wouldn’t mind living in the Shire. Good food, sunshine. Curls. Round doors. Flora and fauna on every flat surface.

Speaking of which, Rivendell is a vision as well.

Neverland would be a paradise. Wonderland, though, that would be the win!

How about Alagaesia, while we’re on the subject? Eragon and Sapphira would be great friends.

See what Miss Marple has been finding out?

Looking for some more excitement? Let’s go to the arena for the 73rd annual Hunger Games.

Trudge through the woods in Forks, Washington?

Sail out to Treasure Island?

Nancy Drew and the Hardy boys? Never a dull moment there!

Run the alleys and pick pockets with Oliver Twist?

Ask Scarlett why she kept up chasing Ashley?

Or would you rather follow Dorothy down the yellow brick road?

Conquer your fears with Tris and Four?

Discover the mysteries under the sea aboard the Nautilus?

Walk out with Poirot, and ask the Belgian why he is stroking his mustaches?

Run through the pasture with Black Beauty?

We could take a dusty ride to Maycombe County, and see if Jem has the courage to touch the door at the old Radley place.

Shall we take a turn about the room with Lizzie Bennet, and sneak glances at Mr. Darcy?

Do you trust Phileas Fogg’s hot air balloon?

Ride the range in a Louis L’amour western?

See who is rapping, tapping at Edgar Allen Poe’s chamber door?

Build a raft with Tom and Huckleberry?

See if Sunday’s kiss can get Grumble out of toad form?

Help Winston and Julia evade the Thought Police in 1984?

Have tea at 221b Baker street, and see if you could keep up with the master?

I guess we could accompany Algernon as he abandons obligations visits poor Bonbury, so recently taken ill.

Or should we help Petruchio tame the Shrew in Padua?

Chill with Daisy and Gatsby?

Maybe you’d like to drop eaves while Henry V tries to speak french to ‘fair cousin Catherine’, whom he loves so entirely?

Dig holes with Caveman and the gang, while avoiding Mr. Pendanski?

See if Jo accepts Mr. Baer’s proposal??

Ask Ellen to let us in the back door of Wuthering Heights? We could see where Heathcliff was those three years, how he amassed that fortune… no?

Let’s go to Sherwood Forest, then. Can you use a bow? dagger, something?

Could you hold in your laughter as Benedick gets in a row with Beatrice?

Or should we go through the wardrobe? Narnia is always more magical than the rest… But under whose reign? Caspian the 10th, perhaps…

And they wonder why we love to read.

Our favorite British people

We are, admittedly, anglophiles. Tis no small thing, nay, an all-consuming obsession. The following is our list of favorites.

MadaLin’s favorites

1. Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge (wife of Prince William, first in line for the throne)

2. Tom Hiddleston (actor)

3. Benedict Cumberbatch (actor)

4. Michelle Dockery (actress)

5. Jane Austen (writer of romance novels)

6. Emma Thompson (actress)

7. Katie McGrath (actress)

8. Helena Bonham Carter (actress)

9. Kate Winslet (actress)

10. Judi Dench (actress)

**************************************************

Nicole’s favorite British people

Queen Victoria (goes without saying, truthfully. She has an entire era named after her. [1840-1900])

1. Steven Moffat (writer and director)

2. Agatha Christie (writer of mystery novels)

3. Alfred Hitchcock (director)

4. Charles Haddon Spurgeon (preacher/writer, possessor of an excellent beard)

5. Shakespeare (if you don’t know who he is there is a strong possibility you live under a rock)

6. Benedict Cumberbatch (actor)

7. The Bronte sisters (authors of “Wuthering Heights”, “Jane Eyre”, among others)

8. Kenneth Branaugh (actor/director)

9. Tom Hiddleston (actor)

10. Emma Thompson (actress)

11. The Beatles (band) [obviously] {no really, duh…}

10. Matt Smith (actor, the 11th Doctor)

12. David Tennant (actor, the 10th Doctor)

13. Judi Dench (actress)

This is, naturally, not a comprehensive list. Perhaps one day we will produce a sequal. So tell us- who are your favorite brits?

Our favorite fictional books

MadaLin:

1) Pride and Prejudice (released 1812 by Jane Austen)

2) Revolution (released 2011 by Jennifer Donnely)

3) Entwined (released 2011 by Heather Dixon)

4) Memoirs of a Geisha (released 1997 by Arthur Golden)

5) The Godess Test series (released starting 2011 by Aimee Carter)

6) Abandoned (released 2012 by Meg Cabot)

7) Alice in Wonderland (Lewis Caroll)

8) Nevermore (released 2010 Kelley Crayg)

9) Enchanted (released 2011 by Aleathea Kontis)

10) Splintered (released 2013 by A.G. Howard)

Honorable mention: “Treachery of Beautiful Things” released 2012 by Ruth Francis Long

Nicole:

1) Eragon [The Inheritance Cycle] (released starting 2001 by Christopher Paolini)

2) To Kill a Mockingbird (released 1961 by Harper Lee)

3) The Hunger Games trilogy (released starting 2008 by Suzanne Collins)

4) Wuthering Heights (by Emily Bronte)

5)Frankenstien (released 1815 by Mary Shelley)

6) Holes (released 1998 by Louis Sachar)

7)Tell-Tale heart (released 1843 by Edgar Allen Poe)

8) Divergent (released 2011 by Veronica Roth)

9) Hunchback assignments (released 2009 by Arthur Slade)

10) 20,000 Leagues under the sea (by Jules Verne)

 

A awesomely short review Pride and Prejudice and Zombies by Jane Austen and Seth Grahame-Smith

“It is a truth universally acknowledged that a Zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains.”
Pride and Prejudice was published by romance novelist Jane Austen in the year 1813.

Nearly two centuries later, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies was released by Seth Grahame-Smith.

He has been praised as having taken a dead story and injected life into it once more. Though how he has done so by filling it with undead creatures is a mystery to us.

We here at Barton Hollow are rallying for a film adaptation to be made, starring Benedict Cumberbatch as Mr. Darcy, and Tom Hiddleston as Mr. Bingley. (Whosoever is cast as the Bennet sisters is of no consequence to us, so long as Mr. Cumberbatch and Mr. Hiddleston grace the screen.)

We give it five stars.

Q. (Nicole) Describe to me what it is that Mr. Grahame-Smith has done to this well-beloved classic.

A. (MadaLin) He has infected it with a awesome flavor of 21st century sci-fi! Most notably Zombies. He has written in incidents with Zombies (called, thoughtout the book, Unmentionables, much to our good humour) and has also done the unthinkable in adding to Mr. Darcy’s list qualifacations for the perfect woman.

Q. No! In what way?

Mr. Darcy now thinks less of an accomplished piano-forte player and more of a knife-wielder! Since this “grevious plague” has infected England, former luxuries and marks of high society are now seen as tomfoolery.

Q. But of course, Elizabeth Bennet still passes his test.

Of course. The major pinnacles of the story line are unchanged, but they all bear the aroma of undead.

Q. Do you feel Jane Austen would approve of this re-making?

A. I think a lot of people feel that Jane Austen is rolling over in her grave (hah hah hah), but personally I think she was rather quirky enough to enjoy it.

Q. Do you think her “quirkiness” was well received by pre-victorian society?

A. Perhaps not in her own time, there were many throughout history who disapproved of her works, (I.E. the Bronte Sisters, and surprisingly Winston Churchill) but for every one mark of disdain there is an incalculable multitude who adore them.

Q. Pride and Prejudice is always widely spoken of, but tell me what the plot actually is about.

On the surface, it is about a rather spastic mother of five daughters who (understandably) wishes to see them marry well. However, this desire often overtakes what small sprinkling of common sense she operates under.

Q. Describe each daughter to me.

Jane, the eldest, is extremely sweet and loving.

Elizabeth is slightly sassy-smart.

Mary, quiet, contemplative, and a bit of a know-it-all.

Catherine (Kitty), who is a follower acting mainly under the instruction of

Lydia, the youngest. She is rather self-absorbed.

Q. Tell me about the marriages in the book.

The first to marry is the youngest, Lydia. Against her parent’s wishes, she at sixteen elopes with Mr. George Wickham.

Next, Catherine Deburg attempts to keep Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy apart, owing to Elizabeth’s poverty.

The eldest sister, Jane, marries Mr. Bingley.

Elizabeth marries Mr. Darcy, and they live happily ever after, with both love an money, as do all of Miss Austen’s characters.

Favorite Quotes-

“My sore throats are always worse than anyone’s…” – Lydia

“Any savage can dance!” – Mr. Darcy